All We Know
by xylence
Summary: "Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but - I hope - into a better shape than before." -Charles Dickens, Great Expectations [TW:Violence/Angst]
1. Chapter 1

The strain on her fingers grew weaker as the grip on the precipice began to falter. Holly's body was weighing down on her as it dangled over the icey waters - she knew it was coming.

The words were impulsive, and by the time she registered how irrational they were, it was too late. The ice had cracked and she fell straight through.

" I'm seeing someone." It was a simple phrase laced within a lie, but it was more than enough to tip the other woman off course. The rejection alone could have been enough to stop the blonde's innocent advances, but the doctor was never really the most rational person around her.

Holly could tell by the tone of her own voice that it didn't sound all too convincing.

Nervous fleeting eyes and a furrowed brow cast off to the side; Gail took the bait. Thoughts raced through her head and the stillness of the room was becoming far too loud for her to make sense of it all.

The cool air constricted her throat, and all the words she wanted to say were lost in a breath.

The thin veil of frost was broken, and Gail had nothing to grasp for anymore. The tears that welled up were heavy and she refused to let herself blink because she knew she wouldn't be able to control herself. Not here. She still had to clutch to her sense of pride despite the atrophy of the walls that helped her up. Her smile faded, soon replaced by a frown, and then nothing.

A beautiful face without expression. Holly couldn't fathom how vacant Gail's blue eyes were.

It took one hurried gasp before quick footsteps clicked their way out, unsteady but defined. The door out of the morgue swung open a little too forcefully, but not enough to slam against the wall. The emotions were hitting Gail hard, but with that silence came her destructive voice echoing in the hall.

…

The beep of the squad car rang as Gail sat down and slammed the door shut. Her head laid back against the seat trying to make sense of what just happened. She blinked a few times, holding back the tears before she started up the car in search for Oliver's missing daughter.

Her hands clutched onto the steering wheel as the bones of her knuckles protruded from her ghosty skin. It had been an hour and she still couldn't find the girl.

"Where the fuck is she! " Gail yelled inside the squad car. She slammed her palm on the steering wheel in frustration. Her patience was wearing thin with this girl, but the anger she felt just made everything worse. The forensic pathologist had moved on, and here she was. _Alone. _

She couldn't remember when the tears started falling from her eyes, nor did she notice until she felt them drip from the bottom of her chin onto her uniform.

Gail didn't do feelings. She hated Holly. She hated Holly for making her have these new feelings that she used to just brush off like the many boyfriends of the past.

_It was just for fun right? _Gail laughed bitterly at the comment she overheard that night.

...

"Oliver, I lost her." were all the words Gail could muster. She couldn't find the delinquent child anywhere. She explained where she had been for the past hour trying to find her. The double meaning to her own words stung a bit.

" It's okay Peck, I found her. Why don't you clock out early today?" The interim staff sergeant could tell there was something wrong with the blonde. He couldn't do much at this point, it had been a long day for him. He knew if he tried to corner her again she wouldn't respond so lightly. She nodded without a word and walked to the locker room to pick up her things.

The blonde opened up her locker and stared at the lined piece of paper that was taped on the inside of the door. It was a picture and comment that was messily scrawled in barely legible letters. She received the letter that morning. It was a simple drawing of herself in stick form and Sophie. She would frequently visit Sophie and check up on her to see if she was in good hands with the temporary child service caretakers.

_Come visit me Officer Gail. I miss you!_

Gail had a good morning. Everything just went downhill after her encounter with Holly.

...

Holly blamed the severed thumb.

All of these feelings and Gail could have been avoided. Their reconciliation, well lack thereof, was inevitable.

She tried for her, for days, which turned to weeks on end, but with no response. All she had left were unresponded voicemails and one-sided text conversations.

After those weeks of trying, she tried a different approach, she decided to avoid the woman as much as possible still holding onto an innocent belief that Gail would come around eventually. She diverted her attention to her job and immersed herself into the no-time-for-anything-doctor she was before she met Gail. Groveling too long wasn't going to fix anything.

But despite the length of time away from the woman, the feelings never faltered.

She looked at the thumb and slipped it into a plastic bag and proceeded to take the elevator up to the station. She was thankful and slightly relieved that the courier didn't call in today. The brunette wanted to see if Gail was okay, or at least not in the rampage that she heard earlier when the blonde stormed off.

Gail rounded the corner about to head out, but raised her head when she heard the woman's voice.

" I brought your thumb. " Holly smiled a little at the woman and asked her about Izzy. They shared an awkward conversation, trying not to look at each other and smile too much. Gail explained that the girl locked herself inside the janitor's room while playing with Oliver's cell phone. They both laughed and decided that the girl was childish.

" I still act that age, c'mon it's true. " Gail looked at Holly for confirmation. " I'm an impetuous…" she paused not wanting to finish the phrase that was undoubtedly true. " I'm self-destructive, I'm..I'm a brat."

" It's okay Gail, you don't have to explain. " Holly said quickly. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want feelings to resurface and just gladly welcome the blonde into her arms. It was _never_ that easy. And she convinced herself at this point that she was done.

"No it's not okay, I don't want to end up a sad sorry woman who threw away the most wonderful person she ever met." For a second Holly wasn't sure if Gail was speaking the truth or just grasping for the right words that would convince her to come back.

But Holly waited and let the words sink in. Holly could almost hear the vulnerability that emitted from Gail. Her eyes were different this time. They weren't hidden beneath a glare, a hardened frown, or vacancy. They were a reflection of what she truly felt.

At this moment, despite their situation and the gloss in her eyes, Holly was proud.

Gail never felt so naked before in her life. Her skin tingled, seeking for the caress or warmth that Holly would give. Just being in her arms made everything better.

Gail's words were spoken from the heart. And Gail gave Holly an opening, an unspoken choice. The tears and emotions lay right out in the open for the taking, but she knew.

"Goodnight, Gail." She needed to walk away.

Gail watched as Holly turned around, she anticipated that pause to see Holly turn back and regret her decision. But it never came. It was _never _that easy.

" I never needed you, " Gail's words were sharp as the ice that was pulling her down, but her words carried off into the distance unheard. She was angry again, but she realized that she had nothing left except for the unkind words. The snark that hid behind almost every phrase that escaped her mouth, that's all she had left.

She didn't believe her own words, but that was her last attempt in the knockout round. Although, her opponent was long gone before it had even started.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A few weeks later...**_

" Gail, I see you're finally back at Casa Diaz Peckstein!" Chris picked her up and hugged her tightly. The taller officer knew that it was way out of his bounds to have any sort of physical contact with Gail, but he hadn't seen her in ages outside of work. He was probably going to get smacked due to the physical contact that Gail absolutely loathed, but he hadn't seen her in ages except for at work.

Gail hugged him back briefly before letting her hands drop to her sides. " Please let me go. " Gail said softly. Chris wasn't bothered that she hugged him back, but moreso the fact that his ears picked up on Gail, the hardened snarky woman she is, say please.

_Nah. _He concluded that he was still as high as a kite from earlier. Despite the good things he had seen in Gail, 'please' did not exist in her common vocabulary between them.

"Hey are you and Holly still on the just not talking anymore basis?"

"No."

"That's great! We should-"

"We're over. " The woman walked past him and towards her room without another word.

The door shut behind her and she let her back lean against the door frame. She didn't think she had it in her to say those words yet, but it was the truth; she couldn't expect anything or play the what if game anymore.

It's been a few weeks, but the rejection was still tender.

The pungent stench of alcohol and pizza was enough to know that her room was a mess. The next few hours would be hell.

Three boxes packed to the brim nestled in the trunk of Gail's car. One last look at her apartment, her 'home', brought a sad smile to her face. She had lived there for awhile from her Academy days up till now, but she wanted a new atmosphere in solace without hearing _those _sounds when Chloe was over for the night and when Chris was tripping himself out over stupid things when he was high.

She'd thought about a new place since before she met Holly, but now seemed like the perfect time to move out.

She sighed and looked over at her friends who waved from the window. She thought she would have been long gone an hour ago, but she had to explain to them that she was leaving. They freaked out and demanded her to stay, but she explained to them that she was just leaving for a new condo by herself closer to the station. They knew by then that she already made her decision and wasn't going to change her mind.

She had already took the initiative beforehand to give Chloe the key to her old room. The perky redhead responded with a surprised expression and acceptance while hugging Gail. Gail hadn't had her coffee that early in the morning yet, so she threatened to taze the girl if she didn't let go.

Gail's phone rang and she picked up after reading the caller ID, " Hey Mrs. Sanders, I'm on my way. "

...

The winter frost had already been long gone a few days prior, and the budding of flowers emerged from the ground in an array of colors. The park was beautiful during the spring, but Gail always preferred the first snowfall over anything. Holly loved the spring.

She watched the children run by the swings and on the playground. She longed for that type of childhood at one point, the ideal family that would go to the parks with their children and eat that disgusting chemically induced ice cream, but she realized at a very young age that it would never happen. By the time she was old enough to comprehend words, Elaine Peck, her mother, already started to take her around her office and teach her the ropes of being an officer. _Typical for being a Peck._

The perks of being an adult were much better though, she didn't have to see her mother every day unless she had those surprise visits at the 15th Division. She would raise hell on those days. Good coffee and gourmet donuts every morning were definitely worth it though.

The woman sitting beside her noticed the officer's daze, she cleared her throat a little too loudly and called out her name. "As I was saying Gail, She will be transferred soon."

Gail looked at the small girl sitting on the swings before she cast her gaze back to the woman beside her. The little girl deserved better, especially after what happened to her mother. " Ms. Sanders, please take care of Sophie for a little while longer, I'm trying to find a permanent family for her in the area. " Gail didn't plead, nor did she beg, but this little girl gave her a sense of sanity and she felt the need to be there for her.

The woman paused and nodded, " I owe you for saving Jensen a few years ago, I'll pull some strings and give her a few more weeks, alright? "

Gail stood up and smiled, " I'll drop Sophie off in a few hours. " The two women exchanged goodbyes and Gail made her way to the swing and sat beside the younger girl.

" Hey kid. I got your letter, I loved it. " Gail patted the girl's head.

" Hey Officer Gail!"

" You make me sound like an old fart. You can just call me Gail. "

Sophie laughed and proceeded to start swinging, betting against Gail that she could swing higher than her. Gail loved the carefree innocence of the little girl.

The young girl had been through a lot the past few months. Sophie hadn't only seen pain and loneliness from all the children in the caretakers home, but she had felt it. She was a smart girl, and with everything that had happened she understood what loneliness looked like.

" Why are you sad Gail? " Sophie spoke up looking at the older woman.

" I'm not sad Sophie, I'm happy to see you. " Her voice was always sincere with the girl. Gail didn't admit it, but she had a soft spot for her, for kids in general.

" The other kids at home have the same face you have on."

Observant and always curious. Gail liked that about Sophie. " It's big adult problems, but having you here makes me feel better Soph. " She smiled at the girl and ruffled her hair.

Gail had agreed to herself that morning to push away Holly memories and Holly conversations and everything Holly away in the back of her mind where they would lay dormant, but just close enough to still have an affect on her. Not forever, but for awhile. She shook her head, and averted her attention back to Sophie. " It's getting late, we should get going?"

The car engine shut off and walked Gail to the front porch.

"Goodnight, Gail!" The girl said as she stood by the doorstep looking up at the taller woman who held her hand. For a second Gail frowned, but she knelt down at eye-level with the smaller girl and embraced her tightly.

" Night Sophie. "

…

A black cursor hovered over the send button and clicked twice. Holly had been doing paper work the whole day. Her hands were itching for another autopsy to get her mind off of things, specifically the blonde officer, but the gods were against her today.

Here she was putting in the extra hours, even working on paperwork at home, just something to keep her distracted. Putting away raw feelings was always difficult for her.

It was so easy to fall in love with Gail. Their banter and snarky comments sparring back and forth constantly. The curiosity she carried when observing Holly as she delved into her work. _I just see bones_. Holly smiled. Looking back, Holly remembered the shock she felt when Gail started picking up on the medical terms of the bones she was working on. Or the many times Gail willingly accepted to participate in the many sports outings that she did horrible in. _Those were the best._

Holly was always on her toes, loving her was never boring, she was having fun with someone she cared about which turned into love.

Then there was the other side of Gail. The one who ran away when they shared big, new experiences together. _The first time they made love_. The morning after, her bed was vacant and it had been days before Holly finally cornered her demanding what caused her to run away after that night. Or the many times when Gail would drunkenly knock on her doors at the break of dawn demanding for alcohol. When asked what was wrong when she was sober, she bottled up herself acting as if nothing ever happened. Then the rare occasions where she completely shut off from the world and didn't return till she got incredibly drunk and called out for Holly. The sex that came during her drunken state felt so meaningless. She felt _used._

The relationship she had was black and white. She hated this. Justifying her past relationship and feelings for Gail. Measuring Gail, a person whom she loved, on a scale of pros and cons.

She packed away her things quickly. _You broke up with Gail, remember? _

The brunette checked her phone and looked at the unread text message from an hour ago.

**Meet us at Pegasus! You promised Hols. It's a lesbian bar btw. xAlex**

...

Gail ringed the waitress for another shot of Tequila. Her group of friends minus Chris were all huddled in the corner of The Black Penny playing the nerdy question game that Dov created back in the day.

" The main bones of our hand?" Dov read aloud on the white card.

"Phalanges. " Gail said a little too quickly without thinking. She remembered sifting through old medical journals Holly left behind, she had brought them to her new apartment and placed them by her night stand to read over before bed once in awhile.

"100 Points for McPeck!" Andy slapped Gail's back in excitement. They were in the lead now by 50 points. Gail excused herself to the washroom to get the grease out from the fries she had been eating.

She quickly washed her hands and started splashing water on her face. She could see herself in the reflection of the mirror. A shade of scarlet graced her cheeks from the alcohol, but what was more noticeable were the prominent eye bags that dinged the perfection of her porcelain face.

She frowned at herself and watched as creases scattered her forehead. _You'll get wrinkles early_. Holly would always reprimand the blonde whenever she frowned.

The blonde pulled out a makeup brush and touched up under her eyes to hide the greyness. She had gotten too used to warm hands encircling her waist, or the many nights when her bare body lay flush against the warmth of her lover, ex-lover. Sleep was restless for her every night since then , but she had gotten used to it. It was different now because everything was stripped away too fast for her to even catch a breath.

Gail left The Black Penny early. Her drunken friends begged her to stay, they literally begged on their knees and hailed her champion of the world, but she wasn't in the mood anymore.

…

"How about her? " Holly signaled with her eyes and nodded her head to the right. A blonde woman sat with a margarita in hand by the open bar.

" Stop picking damn blondes for me Holly, I know you just broke up with your girl and all, but you know I was done with blondes like 5 years ago. " Alex downed a shot of whiskey.

" She's not my girl and that tattoo is tacky Alex. " She poked at the fresh tattoo on her friend's arm.

" Girls dig roses blind eyes. "

" You wear glasses too Miss Casanova. " Holly and Alex always made of each other.

" Mkk, how about I find you a girl Hols. " She spotted a red head and pointed at her, " She's definitely a 10 in my book."

Holly glanced over and took a shot of her Tequila and shook her head. She considered it for a second taking in the features of the woman, but decided against it. " I can't. " _She looked too much like Gail. _

" Well with that I'm-still-hung over-my-ex-girlfriend-look, I doubt you'd be getting any action anyways. "


	3. Chapter 3

Gail was _not_ a runner. Even since academy days even as far back as high school they made her run, but till this day she detested it. Holly used to wake her up early on their off days to run on the Toronto trails up in the mountains. The first time she ran with the woman, she promised only 1 mile, but she happened to claim that she wasn't paying attention so they ran 5. Probably even more, granting that it was uphill. Gail did _not _miss that either. She was thankful though, just a little bit, that she could outrun most of these criminals now.

Just when the bulky man reached the corner she tackled him to the ground, swiftly cuffing him in the process. He screamed and thrashed against her grip yelling that he didn't do it and that he was set up or drugged.

" That's what they all say. " The woman told him as she passed him off to Andy.

" Damn Peck, you must've been a football player in your previous life. " McNally clapped and pulled the criminal up and into the squad car.

Fingers brushed against her uniform to dust off the dirt. Gail was panting hard, wiping the sweat off her brow, Gail Peck was definitely _not _a runner.

Andy took the squad car with the criminal back to the station, while Gail waited in the apartment building for Swarek to come.

The female corpse was in a sitting position on the couch, wearing a white lace dress and flowers in hand. The contours of her face were beautiful, high cheekbones, and full lips coated a soft red. She almost looked alive, the man took the time to brush makeup on her face and change her. The only indication that she was dead, was the huge gaping bullet wound on her temple. _It was sick. _

Nick Collins walked over the yellow tape to swat away the bugs that were piling up on the corpse.

" Don't even think about it Nicholas, it's ruining the crime scene." She told him before he could even go near the body. He waved his hands up in defense.

" Alright, calm down Gail."

" Glad some people were listening Officer Peck." A woman's voice walked in with a red lunch box in hand. It was Holly, the blonde officer stepped back a few paces to let the doctor have room to observe. At first they didn't even look each other in the eyes, and she blatantly would walk out of the room whenever she entered. Gail manned up though, and _tried _to be civil. It was hard though, working with Holly and being around her.

" I always listen…" _to you. _There were always double meanings to her words around Holly, Gail didn't intentionally do that, but whenever she was around the woman it always seemed to reopen wounds that she had sewn to her chest. Gail shook her head and cleared her throat, "Dr. Stewart. "

Ever since Gail suddenly became comfortable around Holly, the forensic pathologist felt antsy all the time. This was her zone, but she could not help but feel scrutinized by the blue eyed officer.

Holly did her usual checklist at the crime scene. First, she observed the body at all angles taking in the outer surroundings of where it was placed. She usually had a recorder with her to describe her findings. Second, the woman would take photos up close and far away at each side of the body. Actually walking into the vicinity of the body wasn't until the third step. The brunette would gather any evidence around the body and on their clothes. Then the final step was poking and prodding at the body for any further analysis in the crime scene.

Gail watched the doctor at work. That was one of the many things she had loved about Holly, her passion for what she did.

" Environment, Check. Photos, Check. Surrounding evidence, Check. Physically Observing, Check." Gail noted when the forensic pathologist had finished her well accustomed cycle.

Holly was caught off guard. Gail was _too_ observant sometimes. " It's an OCD thing. "

" I'm sure the girlfriends just love it. "

" You loved it."

" Yeah, the usual cycle of _I'm just having fun. _Definitely. "

Silence fell between the two after Gail's biting comment. The room was tense, they could both feel it. Holly didn't know what to say to that. It hurt her, and she felt slightly offended. Those words were always taunting her from that night, but telling her that she wasn't actually seeing anyone wouldn't make things better either. The blonde woman shook her head, " I'm sorry. That was out of hand. "

" It's fine Officer Peck. " The forensic pathologist placed the evidence in her lunchbox.

…

The all too familiar y-incision. It was all just muscle memory and autopilot from here. The bane of Holly's adult life, post mortem examination, the autopsy. The sharp blade brushed against the skin like butter. She maneuvered the blade starting at the top of each shoulder and ran down the front of the chest meeting at the lower point of the sternum. It was like painting a picture on a canvas. Her job, and these autopsies were a _constant_ in her life.

The woman processed the DNA and started on her medical examination write-up for the detectives. It was a fairly easy case, the woman had been healthy and there weren't any further problems. It was just a clean shot to the area just behind and to the side of the forehead, nestled perfectly above the side of the zygomatic arch, the temple.

" I appreciate your effort and quick writeups. Oh, plus how thorough yet easy it is to understand the information Dr. Stewart." Detective Nash smiled at the woman and shook her hand. The previous head forensic pathologist had always used jargon so foreign to her that she was best friends with the dictionary on those days.

"Holly...Just Holly. It's always a pleasure working for the 15th division Detective Nash. "

" You can call me Traci, Holly." Holly smiled as she watched the woman walk away but stop in her tracks by the doorway.

The dark skinned woman looked at Holly for a brief moment, " She's strong headed, and very stubborn. But she's fragile. You know, the ice has sometimes been worn too thin. "

Unspoken words of _don't hurt her anymore. _It was firm, but there was not a hint of a threatening tone in the detective's voice. Holly could see that the woman cared for Gail deeply. She gave a curt nod in confirmation and went back to work.

...

Gail was quite surprised when the date that was set up for her, by her _loving _mother, was a female.

Maybe her mother was coming to terms with her "I just don't do the boys anymore but girls too" monologue.

She remembered the night when her mother was expecting the head forensic pathologist of 15th division, her lover, for dinner. The superintendent didn't know much further than that. The look on her face was priceless when she shook hands with the doctor who just happened to be a woman. Elaine Peck was absolutely thrown off guard, she was _always _prepared. She had a whole list of questions to interrogate Gail's new boyfriend, but that night _totally _was a disaster in her eyes. The dinner went quite smoothly though, Elaine Peck, was still running the show, but Gail could see the unruly look in her eyes whenever she glanced over at the female couple across from her. Holly had excused herself early from the dinner because she was on call with the station. The real interrogation began the moment Holly stepped out of the door. Bill Peck, her father, was the buffer and tried to assuage the crazy woman. It had ended somewhat on a good note.

Elaine Peck always had ulterior motives. The older woman justified with herself that she would have more choices now to set up dates with the upper class when news got out that the couple was over.

" You must be Sam? " Gail shook the woman's hand who sat by the bar drinking a margarita.

" Sam I am. " The woman smiled brightly. _Oh god. _

Gail knew there was always a catch with her superintendent mother. The date was horrible, the woman talked far too much and she had found out that she was the mayor's daughter. After she mentioned the six figures her father made Gail tuned out. _Typical upper class snob. _At least she had alcohol tonight.

The blonde long haired woman across from her just kept blabbering. Gail just watched her mouth open and close for a good two minutes before she was pulled out of her daze when the woman asked, " So what do you do? "

Gail was so uninterested at this point. She wasn't much of a talker, unless it was with her group of friends, or Holly. A wave of relief showered over her when the blonde got the picture after ten minutes of Gail rolling her eyes and looking the other way. Sam made up an excuse to go, the gods were on Gail's side today.

" Looks like you had a bad date. " A tall woman pulled up a chair at the bar beside the blonde who took a shot of Tequila in one go. She grabbed one of Gail's shots and downed one.

" You owe me one and I am not interested. " Gail responded as she picked up her other shot.

The woman laughed and patted the younger girl's shoulder. " I'm Lucy, and my _wife, " _The woman emphasized the word holding it out long enough for Gail to understand, "...and I would love to buy you a drink. We were betting against each other over the last hour on whether you would deck the blonde chick in the face for yappin' too much. "

Gail nearly choked on the warm liquid running down her throat and chuckled at the woman's straightforward approach. _Not too bad. _" Why not. "

Lucy led the way to the small table cooped up in the corner, introductions were made between Gail and Lucy's wife, whom she learned was Nora. It was a light atmosphere and the couple before her were hilarious. She couldn't even make sense of how they were together, they seemed so different.

Lucy was a tall woman with athletic features. Her demeanor was more lighthearted, but undoubtedly blunt with words. Nora was a much shorter woman who dressed quite feminine, she donned a dark sequined dress that just screamed for attention. She seemed like the 'ideal' woman who was rational yet sincere, but the long dreadlocks were _quite _deceiving.

But the two clicked, they clicked like how Holly and herself used to compliment each other. Playful banter between the two. Gail sorely missed that.

" Oh, I'm pretty sure you were in a daze the whole time hun. " Lucy joked.

" Probably about 95 percent of the time, the other 5 percent was for downing those shots as that woman kept blabbering about her socialite status. It was horrid." The blonde hadn't smiled this much in awhile.

She enjoyed both women's presence. She _almost _felt a bit happy meeting new people, and actually making friends, something she sucked at. _You make a bad first impression Gail. _Dov would say.

" Give us a call Gail, we need more people like you in our life. " Lucy and Nora slipped a paper in her hand and gave her a hug. The night wasn't too bad.


	4. Chapter 4

Long legs trudged towards the bathroom and ran their hands under the cool water from the faucet. It was a quiet morning, and the birds haven't sung yet, but the tall frame was used to a 5am morning rise. Her circadian rhythms were all off and they just loved to make her sleep less. Holly splashed water on her face to wipe the sleep from her eyes.

She looked up at the mirror and stared at her reflection for a few seconds. Her face was paler, not much vibrance as before, her hollow cheekbones were distinct. A well manicured finger followed its path up her cheekbone. Her wrists even looked thin. She had lost an appetite recently, but there wasn't much she could do. This unrecognizable face staring back at her, it wasn't her.

_It'll pass. _Holly was not depressed, her body was just too used to the bed being occupied and the constant laughter quenched by Gail.

She took the toothbrush from the cup but paused to look at a pair of scissors laid down flat on a towel. She hadn't moved them since that night Gail impulsively chopped her long blonde locks off. She remembered Gail's porcelain hands clutching, nearly shaking as she described each inch that was cut. The blue eyed officer looked so broken and lost then, but Holly had been there for her.

"_Still kind of beautiful though."_ _Holly slid down from her chair into the tub and cupped Gail's face, catching a beautiful glimpse of the ocean that she would willing succumb herself to, before she leaned forward closing the gap between them. Their lips found each other easily and soft moans sounded when Gail swiped her tongue on Holly's lower lip lightly tugging on it. _

_Clothes clung tight to their skin as the water cascaded down from their faces, but they never felt so naked as wandering hands discovered the unfamiliar dips and crevices of each others bodies. _

…

A yawn escaped the officer's mouth as she peered at a photo on her desk. After looking through newspapers, online sites, and making many calls, Gail still couldn't find a permanent family for Sophie.

She thought she found a family, but when she did a background check, the husband had a DUI and the wife had a few unpaid parking tickets. Maybe she was too harsh on people, but Gail Peck had standards. She was not about to just recommend a run down family for the girl. She deserved the best life and Gail wanted to offer the world to this girl.

" C'mon Gail get your ass up, Steve and I agreed that you'd be my partner this week." Traci plopped a folder on the woman's desk that caused her finished stack of papers to slip to the ground.

"Lovely. " At least she didn't have to do paperwork anymore.

...

A huge camera stood on a tri-pod by the window peering through a small hole in a curtain, while a desktop computer played a faint buzz in the corner on top of a desk.

Gail picked up a few photos displayed on the table, she recognized some of the pictures from the file she was given back at the station.

" There hasn't been much for the past two days. Someone tipped us off that men were shipping unlicensed weapons at this warehouse so I've been scouting it. " Traci said as she watched Gail look at the photos.

Traci motioned Gail over to the camera. " See that entrance over there? All the men that have come out through that gate have been shot down and killed. There have only been 4 so far, I have a feeling they're just mules that do the local work. "

" Where did the bodies go?"

" Holly and I have been taking them early in the morning before anyone from the warehouse even entered. She's been doing a careful study on each of the bodies. "

" Holly is on this case? " Gail raised her eyebrow as she picked up a photo of a man on the autopsy table. She read the note scrawled on the post it that each man had the same tattoo behind their ear.

" Well she is the head forensic pathologist Gail. "

" I see. "

Gail sat on the chair looking through the camera for a few hours while Traci reviewed more of the files that Steve had sent her.

" Does being a mother give you happiness Trace? "

Traci looked up from her computer and peered at Gail for a second. She pondered for a moment as thoughts and memories of Leo growing up surfaced." Being a mother gives you a sense of fulfillment and love. The happiness may not always be there, but in a general statement, yes. Leo gives me happiness. "

"Why?" Traci questioned, the sudden inquiry puzzled her.

" It seems hard…" Gail ignored the question and laughed thinking about her own mother, " and pretty fucking stressful. "

" Unlike relationships…" Traci paused trying to test the waters to see if Gail was going to silence her, but it never came, " Leo is a constant in my life and I know that we'll always love each other. "

The blonde silently acknowledged the answer as she peered back through the camera.

…

Before a formal greeting could be made, warm arms pulled the forensic pathologist through the door into a tight embrace, " Oh my little baby, I've missed you dearly. " Evelyne Stewart, Holly's mother, cooed as she hugged her oldest child. She hadn't seen her in weeks.

" Jeez Hols, you look a hell of a lot thinner. " Kaitlyn, her younger sister, embraced the taller woman. Holly smiled as she exchanged further greetings with her father and younger brother, Mason.

" Oh darling, let me take a good look at you. " Wrinkled eyes peered at her daughter's frame and back up to her face. She motioned her fingers in a twirl and Holly awkwardly spun around a few times. It was agreed that Holly was definitely skinnier, the woman still had an athletic build, but her bones were more angular and easily noticed.

She _knew _that look, but decided to question her later.

Holly was pulled into the kitchen with her sister to gather the feast her mother had produced for the small get together. The younger woman hated cooking, Holly was always the better chef. Kaitlyn pulled two small glasses from the oak cupboards and filled them up to the brim with her father's hidden hard liquor stash behind the expensive wine bottles. The younger sibling passed the tiny glass to Holly, " Looks like you need it sissy. "

Full lips pressed on the glass hesitantly, then suddenly downed it. " Bourbon? "

Kaitlyn nodded and gave her a questioning look. Holly ignored the familiar expression, she did not want to talk about it. " I honestly liked her out of all the others Hols. Should I bring out my pitch fork and hunt her down? She's a cop though, she might shoot me."

" I left her. "

Kaitlyn silently nodded. Her sister was usually on the bad end of shitty break-ups, she _never _broke up with anyone. She remembered the many late night calls they shared back when she was barely an intern, Holly was the emotional-ice-cream eating type. Gail must've done a number on her.

"Holly, Kate! We're getting really hungry out here!"

Holly was already full looking at the plate of food her mother heaped on.

" So where's Gail?" Holly's father spoke up as he chewed on the steak.

An awkward silence fell amongst the family for a few seconds, Holly's father, Tony, could feel the death glare from his wife.

" Well I'm specializing in Peds Hols. " Mason quickly said, he was always there to turn conversations around.

" Mom had finally convinced you to join her bandwagon of merry kids? " Holly laughed.

Holly fell into a line of medical generations, but she was kind of the odd ball out. Her mother was a pediatric doctor while her father worked in the ER. Her two younger siblings followed a similar route, Mason being in pediatrics, while Kaitlyn was an orthopedic surgeon. Holly worked with the dead people, Mason would always joke around that she was the Queen of the Dead, in which she would respond with a flick to the forehead every time.

Gail used to be in on the banter of the Stewart clan, she too boasted that she saved lives before they even got to the operating table. They all laughed at her witty comments. She _was_ a perfect fit to the family.

...

Gail mindlessly watched the warehouse, but was more focused on what Traci had said to her. A click of a button and a shutter of photos snapped when she saw a man peering through a window at the farther right end of the warehouse. Gail was _not_, girlfriend material, but she mildly considered the fact that maybe she could try with that whole being a mother thing. She could possibly turn out to be a better mother than her own. She still had to think about it though.

**We still on for tonight Gaily Wailey? xLucy**

Gail shook her head and rolled her eyes.

**Really? You couldn't at least say blondie bitch? xGail**

The woman's phone buzzed a few minutes later.

**Hey you said it not me! Haha, and it sounded way better out loud. ** **xLucy&Nora**

" Hey Gail, we can clock out now, I'll see you tomorrow alright? " Traci picked up her things quickly, she forgot she had to pick up Leo from daycare. Plus her and Steve promised a Disney marathon movie night with Leo.

Thirty minutes later Gail pulled up to the address Lucy had texted. She was still partly in her uniform, her loose blue trousers and tight black shirt on. The woman didn't have much time to go back home and change, or comb her hair for that matter, she peered at herself in the rearview mirror seeing her blonde locks standing up in weird directions. _They wouldn't mind. _

Gail pulled open the door and smirked at the sight before her. _Really, a shooting range? _She saw two females at the far end of the room. They already had their gear on, shooting down the range with what looked like SIG P220s. She showed her badge to the man at the entrance and slid cash down so she could enter.

Gail watched for a few minutes silently judging them till Nora turned around and greeted Gail. Her dreads were pulled up into a messy bun and she looked completely exhausted.

" Driving Miss Daisy I see. You took a fucking long time. " Lucy placed the gun by the table and pulled out her ear plugs welcoming the officer.

" You got good aim Lucy. " She smirked and glanced at her paper target. All of the shots were in the chest.

" Years of practice my friend. " she winked.

Lucy motioned Gail into her aisle. " Let's see what you got officer. "

Gail smiled and pulled her Glock 22 out of the holster. " You're messing with the wrong girl, Dupont."

" Yeah, yeah Peck."

Gail aimed down her sights and towards the target. She pulled the trigger and rapid fired down the range. All her shots were right smack on the forehead of the target, she wore a smug expression and cocked an eyebrow towards Lucy and Nora.

She felt the familiar light buzz in her hands. They were tingling from the recoil. It had been awhile since she went to a range, but she was glad her skills hadn't gotten too bad. After all, the woman did graduate from the academy at top of the class. _It was a Peck thing. _

Lucy grabbed the towel from the table and wiped her forehead ridding the glossy sweat. She waved the towel in defeat, " Yeah yeah, the white flag is up Peck. I'll make sure not to piss you off." She laughed.

" They were probably just lucky shots" Nora rolled her eyes trying not to feed the officer's ego.

The three women continued shooting for a good while. They shot at their targets in comfortable silence. Gail liked that, they all didn't need to talk in order to have a good time. Their friendship had barely begun, but Gail was comfortable around the couple, she never felt like a third wheel around them, except for one of the very drunken nights when the couple started making out in the bar.

"_Having a good show Gail? " Lucy laughed. " Would you like to come join?" Nora added, teasing the blonde whos face visibly carried a blush. _

_The blonde politely declined and told them that she's seen better. " Don't tell me you watch porn Gail, that lesbian shit they do is so overrated. We're just pulling your leg girly. "_

"_Va te faire foutre"*_

"_Toi aussi."*_

Gail shot the last bullet in her magazine.

" Had any fun dates with more stuck up bitches? " Nora asked. Gail choked at her use of vulgar language. Maybe the woman was adopting Gail's common language.

" Nope, thank God. "

…

Evelyne Stewart knew her daughter too well. Holly had explained to her the events of her breakup as they spoke on the couch with a cup of Earl-Grey tea in hand. Holly was still head over heels for the girl, there was no doubt about that.

The mother wanted to give her wise words of advice, but she wanted Holly to figure out herself.

It was already 11pm and Holly had to call in early. She gave her mother a tight hug, " I love you mom."

" I love you too Holly. You better eat child, I don't think you'd want your co-workers to see the bagged lunches labeled Hollykins on it. "

…..

"_Va te faire foutre"* - Fuck you_

"_Toi aussi."* - You too_


End file.
